All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
