Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
