i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
