So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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