so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
