when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
