Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
