Michael Bay diarrhea
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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