Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
