Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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