Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
operation have a gay friend backfired
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
