I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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