Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize