I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize