i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
