Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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