As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
