Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
