Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Operation Purity has been aborted
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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