I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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