I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize