And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
