Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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