this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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