dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
