I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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