So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
