she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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