Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
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I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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