dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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