Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
