she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize