She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
