addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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