It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
