I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
