I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
someone owes me an orgasm
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
