Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
