I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
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What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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