Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
