yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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