took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
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