I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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