You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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