Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
