You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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