I love black thongs
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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