And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
