He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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