Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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