My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
