dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
