Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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