No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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