he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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