I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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