He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
