You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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