38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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