Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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