Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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