Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize