i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize