Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drake has all the answers
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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