sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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