I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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