Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
